Targkarhak is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, impressive hippopotamus.

Targkarhak created water four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Targkarhak, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Targkarhak, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Targkarhak's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Targkarhak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during autumn.

2. Never go into cyan rooms.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

4. Always remove tights before entering holy places.

5. Hide if six eagles approach from the north.

Butfadflis is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, self-assured horse.

Butfadflis created vertebrates two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Butfadflis, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Butfadflis, it will turn you into a slug.

Butfadflis' most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Butfadflis' Holy Commandments

1. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.

3. Do not wear white clothing.

4. Never gather five badgers near wells.

5. Run away if six doves approach from the west.

Targquaftal Parkhapfum Kopcemraw is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, sage duck.

Targquaftal Parkhapfum Kopcemraw created the Black Eye Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Targquaftal Parkhapfum Kopcemraw, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Targquaftal Parkhapfum Kopcemraw, it will ignore you.

Targquaftal Parkhapfum Kopcemraw's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Targquaftal Parkhapfum Kopcemraw's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven foxes approach from the east.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never curse while facing north.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always treat eagles with great respect.

Flandodart is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, ill-tempered coyote.

Flandodart created the universe three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flandodart, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Flandodart, it will try to impress you with trees.

Flandodart's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Flandodart's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all portents.

2. Never speak at midday.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Always pray immersed in water.

Flamnurtfeb is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, competent alligator.

Flamnurtfeb created the Whirlpool Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamnurtfeb, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Flamnurtfeb, she will turn you into a rock.

Flamnurtfeb's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Flamnurtfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Flamnurtfeb in the centre of the settlement.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.

3. Always help squirrels.

4. Run away if three whales approach from the east.

5. Always store garlic above ground.

Hasbellnart is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unthoughtful toad.

Hasbellnart created a top quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hasbellnart, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hasbellnart, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Hasbellnart's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Hasbellnart's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Retreat if seven whales approach from the east.

5. Do not cook food in pots.

Bodnibduss is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, boastful centaur.

Bodnibduss created Europe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bodnibduss, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bodnibduss, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Bodnibduss' most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Bodnibduss' Holy Commandments

1. Never go into magenta rooms.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Never speak aloud of secrets.

4. Remain kneeling during prayer.

5. Never allow otters to sleep beneath your roof.

Gutyarlspag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, caring lion.

Gutyarlspag created a photon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutyarlspag, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gutyarlspag, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Gutyarlspag's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Gutyarlspag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after gulls.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never speak at midnight.

5. Never feed lots of onions to bats while wearing indigo trousers.