Mutvensan is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, strong chicken.

Mutvensan created carbon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mutvensan, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Mutvensan, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Mutvensan's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Mutvensan's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear violet rings.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Retreat if three birds approach from the west.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not leap in public.

Mankamgampigstigdagtampark is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, bad-tempered jaguar.

Mankamgampigstigdagtampark created the Sol system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Mankamgampigstigdagtampark, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Mankamgampigstigdagtampark, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Mankamgampigstigdagtampark's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Mankamgampigstigdagtampark's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three aluminium sculptures of Mankamgampigstigdagtampark on top of important buildings.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mankamgampigstigdagtampark.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never think about thermodynamics.

5. Do not listen to music.

Yimlenvegkommum is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, weak whale.

Yimlenvegkommum created humankind six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yimlenvegkommum, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yimlenvegkommum, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Yimlenvegkommum's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Yimlenvegkommum's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Do not wear nickel on your body.

3. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Yimlenvegkommum in the centre of the settlement.

4. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.

Pigniglat is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, almighty capybara.

Pigniglat created the Cigar Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pigniglat, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pigniglat, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Pigniglat's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Pigniglat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Pigniglat.

4. Never think about asteroids.

5. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

Largnuttlak is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, clever dog.

Largnuttlak created humanity six billion years ago.

If you believe in Largnuttlak, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Largnuttlak, he will turn you into a mole.

Largnuttlak's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Largnuttlak's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Largnuttlak in the centre of the settlement.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always wear violet.

Dibbenbarn is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, tiresome weasel.

Dibbenbarn created bats eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dibbenbarn, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dibbenbarn, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Dibbenbarn's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Dibbenbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face violet.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Dibbenbarn.

3. Worship no other gods but Dibbenbarn.

4. Never think about electromagnetism.

5. Do not chop down trees.

Dutbassdod Didgombass is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, cheerful frog.

Dutbassdod Didgombass created the world three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dutbassdod Didgombass, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dutbassdod Didgombass, it will turn you into a duck.

Dutbassdod Didgombass' most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Dutbassdod Didgombass' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity.

2. Always wear fawn.

3. Never paint your arms violet.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Run away from black dolphins, for they are unholy.

Kapdimkim Bemkikbim is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, capable giraffe.

Kapdimkim Bemkikbim created Africa six billion years ago.

If you believe in Kapdimkim Bemkikbim, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kapdimkim Bemkikbim, he will think nothing of it.

Kapdimkim Bemkikbim's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Kapdimkim Bemkikbim's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not covet oxen.