Miskemflapdon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, ruthless walrus.

Miskemflapdon created the universe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Miskemflapdon, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Miskemflapdon, he will be very sad.

Miskemflapdon's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Miskemflapdon's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Miskemflapdon.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics near porpoises while wearing indigo coats.

4. Never point your legs toward the west during prayer.

5. Always help snails.

Gankimart is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, blissful yak.

Gankimart created the cosmos three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gankimart, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gankimart, he will turn you into a snail.

Gankimart's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Gankimart's Holy Commandments

1. Remain kneeling during prayer.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not kill mites.

4. Never travel toward the west during summer.

5. Do not dye your hair gray.

Monbagbimgudqueeghon is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, resourceful turtle.

Monbagbimgudqueeghon created the Sunflower Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Monbagbimgudqueeghon, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Monbagbimgudqueeghon, she will turn you into a tree.

Monbagbimgudqueeghon's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Monbagbimgudqueeghon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep four mites in a large pit.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Do not name children after swans.

4. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

5. Never talk about stars.

Rowpasmob is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, merciless jaguar.

Rowpasmob created a charm quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rowpasmob, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Rowpasmob, he will come to you in dreams.

Rowpasmob's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Rowpasmob's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt porpoises.

2. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

3. Do not travel during spring.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Rowpasmob.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

Bidsomjam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, cheerful frog.

Bidsomjam created the cosmos three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bidsomjam, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bidsomjam, she will boil you in a big pot.

Bidsomjam's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Bidsomjam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt doves.

2. Put Bidsomjam first in all things.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

5. Never talk about dark matter.

Migbodcat is a god.

He takes the form of a small, deceitful goat.

Migbodcat created the Sombrero Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Migbodcat, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Migbodcat, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Migbodcat's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Migbodcat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.

2. Worship no other gods but Migbodcat.

3. Never sprint near badgers.

4. Do not take Migbodcat's name in vain.

5. Never wear green hats.

Riptonciblad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, vain butterfly.

Riptonciblad created viruses eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Riptonciblad, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Riptonciblad, he will have a low opinion of you.

Riptonciblad's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Riptonciblad's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Riptonciblad's priests.

2. Never prepare aubergines during spring.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never wear shirts.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

Rowveg is a god.

He takes the form of a small, resourceful lion.

Rowveg created matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rowveg, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Rowveg, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Rowveg's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Rowveg's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at midday.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never wear fawn dresses on sacred days.

4. Never hurt doves.

5. Run away if seven geese approach from the east.