Loopabtipbat is a god.

She takes the form of a large, two-faced warg.

Loopabtipbat created the planet Mars three million years ago.

If you believe in Loopabtipbat, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Loopabtipbat, she will cry a lot.

Loopabtipbat's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Loopabtipbat's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

Wipwatfarn is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, temperamental ferret.

Wipwatfarn created the Tadpole Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Wipwatfarn, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Wipwatfarn, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Wipwatfarn's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Wipwatfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bananas on fasting days.

2. Never feed pineapples to dolphins while wearing violet skirts.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Pray only in moonlight.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Wipwatfarn.

Babrawsaw is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, unfair dove.

Babrawsaw created the Sombrero Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Babrawsaw, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Babrawsaw, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Babrawsaw's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Babrawsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Never wear purple tights on sacred days.

4. Always help sick doves.

5. Do not leap at mountains.

Cissnibjad is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, dishonest jellyfish.

Cissnibjad created a photon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cissnibjad, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cissnibjad, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Cissnibjad's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Cissnibjad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always store pineapples above ground.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Cissnibjad in the centre of the settlement.

Mansoglarp is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, all-knowing snake.

Mansoglarp created Asia six billion years ago.

If you believe in Mansoglarp, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Mansoglarp, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Mansoglarp's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Mansoglarp's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never feed lots of tomatoes to tortoises while wearing magenta kilts.

5. Never go into purple rooms.

Gattabnurt is a god.

He takes the form of a small, impressive fish.

Gattabnurt created the Sun five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gattabnurt, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gattabnurt, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Gattabnurt's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Gattabnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with pride.

2. Never think about solid mechanics.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.

Latlistapp Gepstigfom is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, strong unicorn.

Latlistapp Gepstigfom created the planet Jupiter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Latlistapp Gepstigfom, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Latlistapp Gepstigfom, it will not care at all.

Latlistapp Gepstigfom's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Latlistapp Gepstigfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention mice.

2. Never write about quantum mechanics.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Never speak aloud of secrets.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

Barnfothugcunkiktarg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, omniscient armadillo.

Barnfothugcunkiktarg created a photon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnfothugcunkiktarg, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Barnfothugcunkiktarg, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Barnfothugcunkiktarg's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Barnfothugcunkiktarg's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never think about dark energy near cats while wearing purple shirts and balancing four carbon spheres on your chest.

3. Do not eat spinach.

4. Never carve symbols of moons into wood.

5. Never eat bark.