Wiphen is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, uncaring salamander.

Wiphen created tapeworms five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wiphen, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Wiphen, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Wiphen's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Wiphen's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head purple.

2. Retreat if four geese approach from the west.

3. Always share cucumbers with strangers, but never with manatees.

4. Always wash your arms before prayer.

5. Never think about special relativity.

Fengetnell is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, blissful rhinoceros.

Fengetnell created the Milkyway four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fengetnell, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fengetnell, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Fengetnell's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Fengetnell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt whales.

2. Never discuss nucleic acids in public assemblies.

3. Always count to six before sleeping.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Do not commit murder.

Nurllogbarn is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, temperamental fairy.

Nurllogbarn created the Whirlpool Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurllogbarn, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nurllogbarn, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Nurllogbarn's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Nurllogbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat coconuts.

2. Never talk about optics near tapirs while wearing brown ear rings.

3. Always maintain obedience during holy days.

4. Always obey Nurllogbarn's priests.

5. Always share turnips with strangers, but never with mice.

Himjamlarg is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, effective crow.

Himjamlarg created the Virgo Supercluster two billion years ago.

If you believe in Himjamlarg, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Himjamlarg, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Himjamlarg's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Himjamlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

2. Never eat pineapples on days of mourning.

3. Pray only in shadows.

4. Do not drink water in red rooms.

5. Do not drink alcohol.

Yimyarltailhub is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, slow beaver.

Yimyarltailhub created everything that exists eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimyarltailhub, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yimyarltailhub, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Yimyarltailhub's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Yimyarltailhub's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with purity.

2. Always help pigs in need.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

Wipgutbud is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, witty aardvark.

Wipgutbud created an atom seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wipgutbud, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wipgutbud, it will destroy your favourite star.

Wipgutbud's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Wipgutbud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never hop near frogs.

4. Never think ill of sick dolphins.

5. Always wash your neck before prayer.

Yokpogflambit is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, astonishing wyvern.

Yokpogflambit created the Tadpole Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Yokpogflambit, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yokpogflambit, he will turn you into a hamster.

Yokpogflambit's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Yokpogflambit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of the weak nuclear force near sacred fires.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Yokpogflambit in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not wear green clothing.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.

Poghinyim is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, bad-tempered meerkat.

Poghinyim created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Poghinyim, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Poghinyim, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Poghinyim's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Poghinyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear indigo shirts.

2. Always remove ear rings before entering holy places.

3. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always store turnips above ground.

5. Always obey Poghinyim's priests.