Ruttmigsand is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, stupid camel.

Ruttmigsand created light seven million years ago.

If you believe in Ruttmigsand, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Ruttmigsand, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Ruttmigsand's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Ruttmigsand's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Feed all hungry snails.

3. Always wear mauve.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Nurtcunquim Rowbabvog Stipcibkoplen is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, idiotic zebra.

Nurtcunquim Rowbabvog Stipcibkoplen created energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurtcunquim Rowbabvog Stipcibkoplen, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nurtcunquim Rowbabvog Stipcibkoplen, he will turn you into a rat.

Nurtcunquim Rowbabvog Stipcibkoplen's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Nurtcunquim Rowbabvog Stipcibkoplen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity near cats while wearing mauve rings and balancing seven copper spheres on your chest.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never feed wheat to dolphins while wearing fawn scarves.

5. Do not dye your hair green.

Vilflypad is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, merciless snake.

Vilflypad created viruses four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vilflypad, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vilflypad, it will destroy your favourite star.

Vilflypad's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Vilflypad's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never feed lentils to moths while wearing fawn hats.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not speak about bananas.

Yamontbimbogshav is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, narcissistic goat.

Yamontbimbogshav created vertebrates five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamontbimbogshav, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yamontbimbogshav, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Yamontbimbogshav's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Yamontbimbogshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Never talk about otters.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never feed lots of limes to whales while wearing orange stockings.

Bongumstaf Jadsis is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, merciful human.

Bongumstaf Jadsis created the planet Earth five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bongumstaf Jadsis, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bongumstaf Jadsis, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bongumstaf Jadsis' most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Bongumstaf Jadsis' Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not keep six geese in a large pit.

4. Never sprint in holy places.

5. Hide from pink badgers for they are unholy.

Mipdutxem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, merciful warg.

Mipdutxem created dark energy two years ago.

If you believe in Mipdutxem, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Mipdutxem, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Mipdutxem's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Mipdutxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hop in public.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never write about asteroids.

4. Do not eat apples.

5. Always pray immersed in water.

Habkab is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, competent salamander.

Habkab created the Small Magellanic Cloud twelve years ago.

If you believe in Habkab, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Habkab, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Habkab's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Habkab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat peas.

2. Do not take Habkab's name in vain.

3. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

4. Never write about asteroids.

5. Never think about quantum gravity.

Pangrullfeb is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, quiet aardvark.

Pangrullfeb created a photon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pangrullfeb, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Pangrullfeb, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Pangrullfeb's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Pangrullfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never wear shorts.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.