Affiggam Gillistgen is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unthoughtful chinchilla.

Affiggam Gillistgen created the Sun six billion years ago.

If you believe in Affiggam Gillistgen, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Affiggam Gillistgen, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Affiggam Gillistgen's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Affiggam Gillistgen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Worship no other gods but Affiggam Gillistgen.

3. Do not keep four grasshopers in a large pit.

4. Never write about archaea.

5. Never wear kilts.