Ceddimwig is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, kind scorpion.

Ceddimwig created life four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ceddimwig, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Ceddimwig, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Ceddimwig's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Ceddimwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare spinach while filled with fear.

2. Never prepare limes during autumn.

3. Never write about chromosomes.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never bounce in the presence of elders.