Cipzaglarnren Zoghapfem is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unthoughtful troll.

Cipzaglarnren Zoghapfem created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cipzaglarnren Zoghapfem, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cipzaglarnren Zoghapfem, she will destroy your favourite star.

Cipzaglarnren Zoghapfem's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Cipzaglarnren Zoghapfem's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Cipzaglarnren Zoghapfem's priests.

2. Never mix gooseberries with water.

3. Do not bounce at crossroads.

4. Never handle iron while unclean.

5. Always act with patience.