Febstigfarmad is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, fussy snail.

Febstigfarmad created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Febstigfarmad, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Febstigfarmad, he will turn you into a plant.

Febstigfarmad's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Febstigfarmad's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine ducks approach from the west.

2. Sheep are not to be trusted.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never wear indigo corsets.

5. Do not shave your face.