Kamteenrow is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, moody lobster.

Kamteenrow created the Sun seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kamteenrow, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kamteenrow, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kamteenrow's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Kamteenrow's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention goats.

2. Always obey Kamteenrow's priests.

3. Always count to nine before sleeping.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.