Dumhubarn is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, prudent cobra.

Dumhubarn created matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dumhubarn, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dumhubarn, it will turn you into a dog.

Dumhubarn's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Dumhubarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always store oranges above ground.

4. Heed all dreams.

5. Always look after injured swans.