Pagbestnell Dogdobcam is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, uncaring turtle.

Pagbestnell Dogdobcam created the Sol system two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pagbestnell Dogdobcam, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Pagbestnell Dogdobcam, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Pagbestnell Dogdobcam's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Pagbestnell Dogdobcam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sprint at forests.

2. Pray only in firelight.

3. Never mix apples with water.

4. Never hop in holy places.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.