Barnlisthin is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, stupid dolphin.

Barnlisthin created humankind seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnlisthin, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Barnlisthin, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Barnlisthin's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Barnlisthin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always obey Barnlisthin's priests.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always treat hamsters with great respect.