Camwik is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, vain parrot.

Camwik created a photon three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Camwik, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Camwik, he will ignore you.

Camwik's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Camwik's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your back before prayer.

2. Feed all hungry pigs.

3. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics near rats while wearing brown tights.