Witkanmap is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, idiotic dolphin.

Witkanmap created the Tadpole Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Witkanmap, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Witkanmap, she will remove you from existence.

Witkanmap's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Witkanmap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist balance.

2. Never speak the names of dwarf planets aloud.

3. Never feed coconuts to badgers while wearing shoes.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching silver.

5. Do not gather at doors at dawn.