Linjonveen is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, conceited cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Linjonveen created the universe two million years ago.

If you believe in Linjonveen, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Linjonveen, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Linjonveen's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Linjonveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the west during autumn.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Run away from magenta turtles, for they are unholy.

4. Do not count beyond seven during ceremonies.

5. Do not hurt dolphins.