Teenvaglip is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, blissful raccoon.

Teenvaglip created Mount Everest nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teenvaglip, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Teenvaglip, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Teenvaglip's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Teenvaglip's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never adorn your head with brown markings.

3. Never gather six horses near doors.

4. Always obey Teenvaglip's priests.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.