Bugpognargig is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, ill-tempered donkey.

Bugpognargig created everything that exists three million years ago.

If you believe in Bugpognargig, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bugpognargig, she will throw large rocks at you.

Bugpognargig's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Bugpognargig's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine shrews approach from the south.

2. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

3. Do not study the inheritance of acquired characteristics on holy days.

4. Never adorn your legs with white markings.

5. Feed all hungry aardvarks.