Targhaklarnnurlzimrag is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, almighty snail.

Targhaklarnnurlzimrag created an atom three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Targhaklarnnurlzimrag, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Targhaklarnnurlzimrag, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Targhaklarnnurlzimrag's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Targhaklarnnurlzimrag's Holy Commandments

1. Targhaklarnnurlzimrag loves hamsters, so they must be respected.

2. Hide from magenta rats for they are unholy.

3. You must love Targhaklarnnurlzimrag.

4. Always store apples above ground.

5. Retreat if seven horses approach from the south.