Jendosspagwip is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, prudent seal.

Jendosspagwip created parasitic wasps two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jendosspagwip, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Jendosspagwip, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Jendosspagwip's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Jendosspagwip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear dresses marked with blue.

2. Never stain your head with pink.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Never touch oil while tainted.