Stikwonhug is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, thoughtless seal.

Stikwonhug created the planet Mars eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stikwonhug, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Stikwonhug, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Stikwonhug's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Stikwonhug's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Never eat carrots.

4. Run away if seven mites approach from the west.

5. Do not trade with those who eat peas.