Gofditrullmet is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, staggering wolf.

Gofditrullmet created bats three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofditrullmet, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gofditrullmet, he will turn you into a puffin.

Gofditrullmet's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Gofditrullmet's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never talk about spacetime.

3. Never gather four geese in one place.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.