Gubyartyar is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, self-assured swallow.

Gubyartyar created Europe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gubyartyar, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Gubyartyar, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Gubyartyar's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Gubyartyar's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with patience when addressing elders.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Put Gubyartyar first in all things.

4. Do not speak about oranges.

5. Never bounce in the presence of seals.