Flabbogpas is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, two-faced tapir.

Flabbogpas created snails six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabbogpas, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Flabbogpas, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Flabbogpas' most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Flabbogpas' Holy Commandments

1. Never mention snakes.

2. Shun those given to vanity.

3. Do not shave your face.

4. Feed all hungry goats.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.