Wiknillfigtofyaktadbarn is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, merciless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Wiknillfigtofyaktadbarn created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wiknillfigtofyaktadbarn, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Wiknillfigtofyaktadbarn, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Wiknillfigtofyaktadbarn's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Wiknillfigtofyaktadbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about aardvarks.

2. Never think about spacetime near dolphins while wearing yellow hats and balancing nine gold spheres on your feet.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near dogs while wearing black shorts and balancing four nickel spheres on your hands.

4. Do not laugh at mountains.

5. Never think ill of sick monkeys.