Yattkanbop is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, resourceful faun.

Yattkanbop created the Andromeda Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattkanbop, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yattkanbop, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Yattkanbop's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Yattkanbop's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into indigo rooms.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always look after injured goats.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.