Lintapdim is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, benevolent gorilla.

Lintapdim created dark matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lintapdim, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Lintapdim, he will turn you into a frog.

Lintapdim's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Lintapdim's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always store corn above ground.

4. Never think about chlorophyll.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.