Gessarpnarl is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, awe-inspiring giraffe.

Gessarpnarl created the Andromeda Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Gessarpnarl, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gessarpnarl, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Gessarpnarl's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Gessarpnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never think about photosynthesis.

3. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.