Teencinlarnced Jindavsis is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, generous gerbil.

Teencinlarnced Jindavsis created Asia eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teencinlarnced Jindavsis, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Teencinlarnced Jindavsis, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Teencinlarnced Jindavsis' most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Teencinlarnced Jindavsis' Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Feed all hungry nematodes.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not record signs concerning dwarf planets.

5. Always help sick goats.