Metkoprul is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, benevolent human.

Metkoprul created water four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metkoprul, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Metkoprul, he will throw large rocks at you.

Metkoprul's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Metkoprul's Holy Commandments

1. Always store limes above ground.

2. Never eat figs.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not skip in public.

5. Always treat nematodes with great respect.