Vedshavbif is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, impressive clam.

Vedshavbif created water six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vedshavbif, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vedshavbif, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Vedshavbif's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Vedshavbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from tin.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always count to five before sleeping.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.