Jatxucdim is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, effective centipede.

Jatxucdim created the universe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatxucdim, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jatxucdim, he will turn you into a hamster.

Jatxucdim's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Jatxucdim's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms fawn.

2. Always remove ear rings before entering holy places.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not leap in public.

5. Do not name children after grasshopers.