Hapnullshav Bodwotxem is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, fussy dingo.

Hapnullshav Bodwotxem created the planet Earth two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapnullshav Bodwotxem, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Hapnullshav Bodwotxem, he will torture you forever.

Hapnullshav Bodwotxem's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Hapnullshav Bodwotxem's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Heed all dreams.

3. Never gather nine monkeys near walls.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not fashion tools from silicon.