Voghivwap is a god.

She takes the form of a small, annoying chicken.

Voghivwap created silver three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Voghivwap, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Voghivwap, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Voghivwap's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Voghivwap's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your hands toward the east during prayer.

2. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Voghivwap on top of all buildings.

3. Never carve symbols of galaxies into wood.

4. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.