Wapkanhap is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, quiet penguin.

Wapkanhap created the universe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wapkanhap, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Wapkanhap, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Wapkanhap's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Wapkanhap's Holy Commandments

1. Never record names.

2. Never remain standing at dusk.

3. Worship no other gods but Wapkanhap.

4. Do not dye your hair cyan.

5. Never allow aardvarks to sleep beneath your roof.