Hitnellbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, astonishing salamander.

Hitnellbonk created oxygen two years ago.

If you believe in Hitnellbonk, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hitnellbonk, he will send minions to preach to you.

Hitnellbonk's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Hitnellbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Always wear brown.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never wear red stockings on sacred days.