Bagmilben is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, dishonest hyena.

Bagmilben created gold six million years ago.

If you believe in Bagmilben, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Bagmilben, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bagmilben's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Bagmilben's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to sloth.

2. Do not kill aardvarks.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

5. Never stain your arms with turquoise.