Logmumvid is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, conceited ant.

Logmumvid created a charm quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Logmumvid, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Logmumvid, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Logmumvid's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Logmumvid's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross crossroads at midday.

2. Never gather eight ducks in one place.

3. Never feed cucumbers to bats while wearing indigo tights.

4. Learn three new languages a year.

5. You must love Logmumvid.