Cumbigrot Arfnarlcubwip is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, conceited dolphin.

Cumbigrot Arfnarlcubwip created bats four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cumbigrot Arfnarlcubwip, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cumbigrot Arfnarlcubwip, he will not invite you to parties.

Cumbigrot Arfnarlcubwip's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Cumbigrot Arfnarlcubwip's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never go into brown rooms.

3. Always obey Cumbigrot Arfnarlcubwip's priests.

4. Dolphins are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never talk about fire.