Talpom is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, confident goblin.

Talpom created Africa eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Talpom, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Talpom, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Talpom's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Talpom's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow capybaras to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Do not record secrets concerning planets.

3. Talpom loves snakes, so they must be honoured.

4. Remain prostrate during prayer.

5. Never chant while facing east.