Bindumtig Talpinyar is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, benevolent mouse.

Bindumtig Talpinyar created snails five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bindumtig Talpinyar, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bindumtig Talpinyar, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bindumtig Talpinyar's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Bindumtig Talpinyar's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in shadows.

2. Always wash your legs before prayer.

3. Do not study archaea on holy days.

4. Hide from gray nematodes for they are unholy.

5. Worship no other gods but Bindumtig Talpinyar.