Bumlagvan is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, ruthless scorpion.

Bumlagvan created oxygen six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumlagvan, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bumlagvan, it will not care at all.

Bumlagvan's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Bumlagvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not skip at mountains.

3. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always help cats.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.