Tofkemdim is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, slow clam.

Tofkemdim created the solar system three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tofkemdim, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tofkemdim, she will be very sad.

Tofkemdim's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Tofkemdim's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Never think about nebulae.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Tofkemdim in the centre of the settlement.