Lam is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, proud fox.

Lam created the planet Earth eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lam, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Lam, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Lam's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Lam's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross mountains at dawn.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lam.

3. Doves are not to be trusted.

4. Never paint your neck orange.

5. Never look at galaxies.