Gidkombaptonarncar is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, amazing tortoise.

Gidkombaptonarncar created an up quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gidkombaptonarncar, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gidkombaptonarncar, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gidkombaptonarncar's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Gidkombaptonarncar's Holy Commandments

1. Gidkombaptonarncar loves hamsters, so they must be respected.

2. Never mention cats.

3. Do not eat melons.

4. Never handle copper while unclean.

5. Never write about chlorophyll.