Fotgumdab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, two-faced coyote.

Fotgumdab created humanity three million years ago.

If you believe in Fotgumdab, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fotgumdab, she will turn you into a plant.

Fotgumdab's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Fotgumdab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near whales while wearing gray shirts.

2. Never mention mice.

3. Pray only in moonlight.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not name children after dogs.