Bambabtarg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, grumpy walrus.

Bambabtarg created a Higgs boson eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bambabtarg, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bambabtarg, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bambabtarg's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Bambabtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in the presence of elders.

2. Bambabtarg loves turtles, so they must be respected.

3. Never paint your face red.

4. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Bambabtarg in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never adorn your neck with green markings.