Ingcatnutt is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, two-faced donkey.

Ingcatnutt created carbon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ingcatnutt, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Ingcatnutt, he will turn you into a puffin.

Ingcatnutt's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Ingcatnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Never allow dolphins to sleep beneath your roof.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.