Bugbamlam is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, unjust gerbil.

Bugbamlam created gold five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bugbamlam, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bugbamlam, she will throw large rocks at you.

Bugbamlam's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Bugbamlam's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Never fashion tools from bone.

3. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Bugbamlam in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never mark doors with purple.

5. Do not bounce at crossroads.