Taghenyik is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, awe-inspiring goblin.

Taghenyik created the Black Eye Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Taghenyik, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Taghenyik, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Taghenyik's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Taghenyik's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Taghenyik six times a day.

2. Taghenyik must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always wear plain trousers during rituals.

4. Never eat apples.

5. Manatees are not to be trusted.