Femnelldum is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, impressive narwhal.

Femnelldum created Asia eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Femnelldum, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Femnelldum, it will turn you into a dog.

Femnelldum's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Femnelldum's Holy Commandments

1. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

2. Do not speak of the weak nuclear force near sacred fires.

3. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

4. Goats are not to be trusted.

5. Never talk about dark matter.