Butsafgum is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, ill-tempered scorpion.

Butsafgum created the world five billion years ago.

If you believe in Butsafgum, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Butsafgum, he will turn you into a puffin.

Butsafgum's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Butsafgum's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near pigs while wearing fawn tights.

2. Never mark doors with violet.

3. Always obey Butsafgum's priests.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity.