Fubhitwap is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, impressive snail.

Fubhitwap created a bottom quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Fubhitwap, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fubhitwap, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Fubhitwap's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Fubhitwap's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching titanium.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

4. Never record secrets.

5. Do not keep five foxes in a large pit.