Dubbesspan is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, cheerful chinchilla.

Dubbesspan created a top quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dubbesspan, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dubbesspan, she will boil you in a big pot.

Dubbesspan's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Dubbesspan's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of fate in the presence of elders.

2. Never point your chest toward the west during prayer.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Hide if six great tits approach from the south.

5. Always act with purity when addressing children.