Wapfudlarp is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, unfair goat.

Wapfudlarp created Africa two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapfudlarp, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Wapfudlarp, she will not care.

Wapfudlarp's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Wapfudlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after otters.

2. Do not prepare melons while wearing scarves.

3. Always wash your face before prayer.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching carbon.

5. Never think about stars.